If you're a man facing divorce or a child custody battle in Olympia or anywhere in Thurston County, it's easy to feel like the legal system may be working against you. Whether you’re a father fighting to remain actively involved in your child’s life or a husband worried about protecting your financial future, the emotional and legal stakes can feel overwhelming.
The good news is that Washington law is gender-neutral. Courts are legally prohibited from favoring one spouse over the other based on gender. Fathers and husbands are entitled to the same legal protections and opportunities as mothers and wives.
That said, equal rights do not guarantee equal outcomes, especially if you enter the process without legal representation. If your spouse has a lawyer, so should you. Whether you're negotiating parenting arrangements, dividing assets, or defending against a request for spousal maintenance, protecting your rights requires preparation, documentation, and a solid legal strategy.
Washington Courts Do Not Presume Mothers Are Better Parents“The best interests of the child are served by a parenting arrangement that best maintains a child’s emotional growth, health and stability, and physical care.”
— RCW 26.09.002
In Washington, custody is determined through a parenting plan, which outlines residential time, decision-making responsibilities, and holiday schedules. Courts in Olympia focus on the best interests of the child, not on the gender of the parent.
As a father, you have the right to seek joint custody, equal parenting time, or even primary residential placement. Courts will examine your parenting history, your relationship with your child, your living situation, and your willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent. Your gender cannot be used against you.
Property Division Must Be Equitable—Not Necessarily Equal“...the court shall… make such disposition of the property and the liabilities… as shall appear just and equitable after considering all relevant factors...”
— RCW 26.09.080
Washington is a community property state, which means most assets and debts acquired during marriage are considered jointly owned. This includes income, real estate, retirement accounts, and even businesses.
However, the law calls for a just and equitable division, not an automatic 50/50 split. If you were the primary earner, supported your spouse’s career, or made sacrifices for the household, those facts must be presented and considered. Judges in Thurston County have broad discretion, and strong legal advocacy can make a meaningful difference.
Spousal Maintenance Must Be Based on Need, Not Stereotypes“The court may grant a maintenance order… in such amounts and for such periods of time as the court deems just…”
— RCW 26.09.090(1)
Spousal maintenance—also called alimony—is not automatically granted in Olympia divorce cases. Courts consider a variety of factors, including the length of the marriage, the lifestyle established during the relationship, each spouse’s financial resources, and the time needed for one party to become self-sufficient.
If you’re a man being asked to pay support, Washington law does not assume you can afford it. You have the right to present your full financial picture, explain your monthly obligations, and push back against excessive or unjustified support requests.
False Allegations Require Immediate and Strategic Response“A law enforcement officer shall arrest without a warrant and take into custody a person whom the law enforcement officer has probable cause to believe has violated a domestic violence protection order...”
— RCW 7.105.450
In contentious divorces, false or exaggerated claims of abuse or misconduct are sometimes used to gain an advantage in custody disputes. Protection orders can be issued quickly and without a full hearing.
If you’ve been falsely accused, don’t wait. You have a right to a hearing, to present evidence, and to defend your reputation. Failing to respond swiftly can result in lost parenting time and long-term damage to your case. Representation is critical in these situations.
If you’re faced with any of these issues typically associated with fathers’ rights or divorce for men, it’s vital to have a trusted divorce lawyer familiar with these issues by your side.
Men’s Rights in Olympia Divorce – Frequently Asked Questions1. How is child custody determined in an Olympia or Thurston County divorce?
In Washington, child custody is structured through a parenting plan—not through outdated concepts like “visitation” or “custody labels.” The court’s central focus is on the best interests of the child, not the gender of either parent.
As a father, you have the legal right to pursue joint custody, equal parenting time, or even primary residential placement. Judges in Thurston County will consider your past involvement, living arrangements, work schedule, and ability to provide for your child’s needs. Gender does not factor into custody decisions under Washington law.
Helpful resource (PDF): Washington Courts – Parenting Plans
2. How is child support calculated in Olympia, and how can I ensure it’s accurate?
Washington follows a standardized support schedule based on both parents’ gross incomes, the number of children, and the amount of residential time each parent has with the children. The parenting plan directly affects this calculation.
To ensure child support is fair and reflective of your actual financial situation, submit full financial disclosures and confirm that the parenting schedule accurately reflects your time with your child. The court may also factor in health care costs, day care, and education-related expenses.
Helpful resource: Washington State Child Support Schedule
3. How will our assets and debts be divided in an Olympia divorce?
Washington is a community property state, meaning most property and debts acquired during marriage are presumed to be jointly owned, regardless of whose name is on the title or account. This includes income, homes, vehicles, investments, and retirement accounts.
However, the law calls for a division that is just and equitable—not necessarily 50/50. If you were the primary earner or supported your spouse’s education, or if you handled the bulk of household or financial responsibilities, those facts matter. A fair division requires accurate documentation and legal advocacy.
Helpful resource (PDF): Washington LawHelp – Property and Debt in Divorce
4. Will I be ordered to pay spousal maintenance in an Olympia divorce?
Spousal maintenance—also referred to as alimony—is not automatically awarded in Washington divorce cases. Courts consider factors such as the length of the marriage, the standard of living during the relationship, each party’s financial resources, and the time it will take for the supported spouse to become self-sufficient.
If you’re a man being asked to pay spousal support, the law does not assume you can afford it or that you should automatically be responsible for ongoing payments. You have the right to provide documentation showing your financial capacity and to argue for an outcome that reflects the realities of your situation.
Helpful resource: Washington Courts – Divorce and Spousal Maintenance
5. How do I establish paternity if I wasn’t married to my child’s mother?
If you were not married at the time of your child’s birth, you must legally establish paternity before you can seek a parenting plan or assert parental rights. This can be done voluntarily through an Acknowledgment of Parentage (AOP) or through a court order, which may require DNA testing.
Once paternity is established, you have the right to pursue parenting time and legal decision-making authority. Without this step, your ability to enforce those rights in Thurston County remains limited—even if you’ve been actively involved in your child’s life.
Helpful resource: Washington State DSHS – Establishing Parentage
Talk to an Olympia Divorce Attorney Who Understands Men’s RightsAt the Law Offices of Jason S. Newcombe, we represent men throughout Olympia and Thurston County who are navigating divorce, custody, child support, property division, and spousal maintenance disputes. With over five decades of combined legal experience, our team understands the specific challenges men face in Washington family law—and we know how to protect your interests.
You deserve fair treatment under the law. Whether you’re fighting for equal parenting time, pushing back against unfair support claims, or protecting the assets you’ve worked hard to build, we’re here to help.
Schedule your free consultation today and take the first step toward defending your rights, your role as a father, and your financial future.